So like many people who grew up in the 80’s I grew up playing video games. A lot of good times were had in Dragon Quest, Final Fantasy, Chrono Trigger and countless other role playing games from the 80’s and 90’s. Then I made a mistake in high school. I got accepted into the Beta for Everquest. I learned the fine art of Player Killing in Blackburrow. My actions eventually got me kicked off the PVP servers to the Carebear servers where I rerolled my Dark Elven Cleric Amir Kalfoxx into Amilya Kalfoxx, the first Dark Elven cleric of my server. And there started what some of my friends called my massive “trolling” campaign against MMO’s everywhere.
See after I realized that PVP players don’t like to lose I moved on. I started focusing on the story of my characters. Which at the time was Amilya Kalfoxx, Dark Elven Cleric of Hatred. My hate would heal the whole world. A phrase I used frequently as I did the unthinkable. I solo’d. As a cleric in NeverQuest. From open launch until The Legacy of Ykesha. It took me forever to level high up doing mostly solo. Oh sure I could be found frequently in the company of other players, normally charging them to act as the team healer. I would frequently join a guild long enough to team up with others to do Raids. And boy the excitement I had staring at the ground for hours watching people’s life bars because internet connections and computers couldn’t handle all the magical effects at the time. I learned how much fun that was sitting staring at the ground for hours drinking mountain dew and eating pop corn. So much fun I swore I would never get my own planar gear cause it was so annoying to do so.
I made a lot of friends in my EQ days. Some I still associate with. Others gone. But that’s neither here nor there. From there I moved on to City of Heroes. I stepped up my game of “trolling” by inventing Sogan Kaiser. A scrapper who specialized in Spider-man type dialogue while in combat. See I had figured out how to Macro things by this point so I would hit an attack and quickly hit a keyboard command to input a paragraph of text. Hit another attack and continue. I also become highly proficient at in character smack talk to the NPC villains, firing quips between my attacks. Such to the point where Sogan made an enemy of much of the Sentai Squad on my server. It was a jerk thing to do, I will admit. But I’m incorrigible so I don’t feel bad about it. See in Japan Sentai means Team. But these guys all looked like Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. But often I would compare them to the encounters that Sogan had with his friends who were rangers with mighty morphing powers. Needless to say they never appreciated it. But that was Sogan and his backstory and a few of the members thought it was funny and would congratulate me on my in character performance. Which I wouldn’t break. The Macro smack talk became a stable from that point on.
For a time I moved to World of Warcraft and started the Amilya Kalfoxx line all over again. Amilya Kalfoxx the noble paladin, who was sworn to protect the Kalfoxx name against the evil elves. See It was stupid, and still is stupid of Blizzard to enforce the inability to switch sides and be the same race. I hate the Night Elves and Gnomes and would love nothing more than to be a human and on the side that could freely kill gnomes and “elves”. When I played EQ Gnomes earned a special place in my heart for how stupidly annoying they were in PVP. And I hate the design of the Night “Elf”. I was told by several Blizzard GM’s that my character couldn’t switch sides because it was story reasons.
It’s not like anywhere in the history of war have we ever had someone switch sides. And it’s not like you can’t learn another language. They even disprove this in their own game. If you go to Booty Bay, and then later cities that were both Horde and Alliance the NPCs, regardless of race, can speak your language and work hand and hand with one another. The only characters who cannot speak two languages are Orcs and Humans. The Story is touted as being very deep as to why you can’t learn languages. Which is basically saying that WoW races are mentally incapable of learning new languages. Which means that for the sake of all they should be eliminated.
But anyway, Amilya Kalfoxx progressed onward through her quest to smite the evil elves who weren’t yet introduced. And along the way I grew more proficient in the art of not breaking character.
I moved on to EverQuest 2 and was thrilled that they allowed Dark Elves to switch from evil to good or a wood elf to switch from good to evil. It was a thrilling, if a little lame, quest that basically made you betray your starting city. I did so happily with Amilya Kalfoxx the Shadowknight turned Paladin. I hoped for the programming for NPC’s to sneer and jeer the now noble dark elf. Sadly the programming was incapable and I went back to WoW. This was about the time of the Burning Crusade.
With the introduction of the Burning Crusade Amilya’s familia line now had the evil elves to fight. Kiadan of house Kinka, and her three sisters. I leveled the heck out of those alts until they were the same level as Amilya. And then began the epic battle… that I couldn’t do anything with because they were my alts. So I took it offline and began constructing a story about the fight. Amilya, a human, had aged and managed to kill Farilis, Mistal and Ayrios. Leaving Kiadan, the oldest sister, alive in the wilderness. I am looking forward to when I finally get around to finishing that story.
I then moved on to Star Wars The Old Republic. Creating a family divided by the empi… I mean the sith and the republic. And reacted to the stories in the game as only family members would do. Shasti, the youngest sister out to make a name for herself gets her ship stolen. What does she do? She tells her older brother whose a Solider for the Galactic Republic and then she fires off a message to her bounty hunter sister. Only to be told that because we are in a society that is so divided and we all speak the same basic language we can’t communicate.
I naturally informed a GM of this gross oversight into the role playing asspect of a Massive Multiple Player Role Playing Game. The GM told me in polite ways that I was crazy and that I should play the game. Which I told him, sincerely, that I was playing the game and that no where in their media did it mention that you wouldn’t be able to talk to family members.
So, I’m that asshole who came into your PVP world, saw how stupid and repetitive the game was. Knocked over the building of legos you were using to construct your world and tried to have fun on my own. You raid so you can get better equipment so you can raid to get better equipment. You do pvp so you can kill more people by getting better gear to pvp. You farm 10 items for this npc then run north and find another 10 things to give to another NPC and then you pick 30 flowers.
Those are not games. Those are a monetary time sink. I have a value that my time is worth. My company that pays me to do HL7 interfaces says I am worth XYZ Quatloos an hour. So if I pay these games $15.00 a month and I spend any time in them I am costing my time which is costing me monetary compenstation. These games are now so reptitive that there is no point to play them. When I talked to people in WoW when I came back for a bit they talked about how often they had to sit and grind their dailies. Not to call anyone out but I talked to a guy who I play Table Top RPGs with once a month and he said he used to spend about 2 hours a day doing his daily maintenance and grind. that’s a total of 14 hours a week, and total of 56 hours a month just working. Over and over again to make sure you can raid to get more stuff to raid.
Games shouldn’t be a chore. They should be fun.
This post was brought about by the new Destiny expansion. The achievement hunters talked about it and frankly it baffles my mind now as an adult to have to spend so much time doing the same repetitive actions again and not get something tangible for my time. A prime example of spending to much time on reptitive tasks. For those who didn’t want to click the link it’s a guy whose played the same raid so many times he can now solo it. Now I do love replaying games now and then. I replay Dragon Force often. Even though you learn the trick to combat really early on to be come nigh unstoppable, it’s my favorite “tactics” games. I love Ogre Battle and Final Fantasy Tactics but my go to game is Dragon Force when I want to replay a fantasy tactics game.
But I don’t spend 50 hours a month doing it either. I would spend 50 hours a month if I could roleplaying on a server. But frequently no one is there to do that. They just want to collect 10 more flowers and return to the quest giver so they can get another quest to collect 15 wool.
Incorrigibly Yours,
J.E. Flint