So, as I posted on my personal/private Facebook page last night, this will be a rant. And I'd like to apologize for how bad I am at blogging. I usually only blog if I have something to talk about, sure, I could prattle on uselessly, but no one pays me for that. I am working on stuff, mostly The Chronicles of Loth stuff, but I'm storyboarding some other things with my friend Bunnyshade.
Anyway, onto the rant.
I've been watching The Orville by Seth McFarlen, and it's been enjoyable. Of course, I get annoyed at some aspects of the television show. Still, it wasn't until the birthday episode with Kelly and Bortus's birthday that I got annoyed at the show. Spoiler warnings, in case you haven't seen this episode in season two. I'm usually far behind on my pop culture and TV watching, yet somehow I stay more or less spoiler free on most things and try to make things spoiler-free for those who haven't seen it yet. This will not be one of those times.
In the show, Orville gets a message of "Is anyone out there?" a general message looking to make first contact, and the crew is happy and excited about it. It makes sense, as the pilot puts it, "they're explorers, and that's what they signed up for." Everyone on board is happy and excited because they get to meet up with a society that is taking its first steps toward galactic contact. They show up, talk to the government, and see a few things that make folks arch an eyebrow, but it doesn't ultimately make them pause or stop their communications. That is until the state dinner when Kelly mentions that she and Bortus have a birthday, which is an excellent gift for Kelly—conceded opinion much? But that's beside the point. The planetary government takes this news badly and effectively imprisons everyone in the landing party. Bortus and Kelly are thrown into a concentration camp, and the rest of the landing party is checked to ensure no more birthdays are upcoming and told to leave. Captain Mercer reports to his superiors that his first and second officers have been captured/kidnapped, and the Union is basically "Tough Titties, you can't interfere. And to get your butts back on active duty." Spoilers, the captain doesn't do that and thinks of a peaceful way to get his crew back. Showing that they're bigger people than I would be. And that's where I have a problem with this. They're supposedly a more advanced race of people who can look past little grievances to take the high road.
As mentioned several times in Star Trek and The Orville, they're not allowed to influence and interact with technologically inferior races. And this is brought up in the Orville show that their technology is hundreds of years more advanced than this planet. And another thing that's brought up is that generally, with the mind-bogglingly vastness of space, there aren't any closer vessels. Now, I like to think I'm a calm and rational person capable of seeing the bigger picture and treating others how I want to be treated. This SOB captured two of my crew, it could be a fucking janitor, and a mess hall attendant doesn't matter. They're under my protection as they're my crew. If I run it up the chain of command and I'm informed that no one is close enough to lend aid and I'm not supposed to touch it, I will look my boss right in the face and tell them to fuck off with that noise.
Let's step back here for a second and look at it from the planetary government's point of view. I've captured two aliens from a vastly superior, galactic-spanning civilization who have traveled I don't know how far, who have I don't know how many ships, with ships that could literally carpet bomb me into the stone age. And you're concerned that two of them are astrologically bad? No. You don't punch above your weight class unless you're damn sure you can bloody that heavy weight's nose and crawl away from it.
And you're telling me a civilization with shield technology is waltzing around without miniaturized shields? This show has already shown they can regrow an entire limb, nerves, and everything on a human. You're telling me they can't have a small watch with a neural transmitter that can activate a shield for such occasions? You're telling me, as the captain of this away team, you didn't look at the president of this inferior race and not immediately give them the galactic equivalent of a bloody nose? Captain Mercer stated to this ruler that less friendly alien societies could have shown up for the first contact. We've seen the aliens plan to drop a planet-wiping bomb on a colony world, so we know that tech is out there.
I wouldn't have hesitated to flip open my communicator and casually order a laser strike just outside of the presidential palace. If I were feeling really generous, I'd have targeted an unoccupied middle-of-nowhere land mass. But in this case, I side with Grand Moff Wilhuff Tarken in that fear should keep them in line. I talked with a good buddy about the differences between Star Wars and Star Trek tech. Star Wars tech is woefully underpowered compared to Star Trek technology. And yet, in the Thrawn books by Timothy Zahn, we've seen that an Imperial Star Destroy's turbo lasers were exact enough to follow a Tie Fighter zipping near the planet's surface, carving out swaths of land. So if a Star Destroy can do that, and keep in mind a turbolaser from Star Wars can't even at their best pierce the shielding of a runabout from the Star Trek universe, what in the hell makes me think that The Orville can't accurately disintegrate a tree from outer space to make the populace understand that their bargaining posture isn't even dubious? It's laughable.
In Star Trek and The Orville, both The Federation and The Union have taken the stance that they can let lesser, and I do mean this very literally, lifeforms dictate how they get to treat my crew. So they have taken a posture that says we'll take whatever you throw at us and not interfere because it's not our society. But that's a bullshit stance. They should look at this as a parent who needs to teach a child a lesson. Generally, if a child sticks their finger in an open light socket or on a hot stove, they learn not to do it again. So this is the same attitude that both organizations should have. You don't have to be malicious and slaughter people to make a point. But you don't have to fucking roll over and let them decide to tell you their policy.
I would never make it in The Federation or The Orville. Because I would have put that entire solar system into a quartine and placed buoys around it warning people not to go near and that if they ever got to the point where they could fly out of their solar system, they'd have to contend with their ships being instantly obliterated by the same buoys. I would have landed my security forces down on that planet, forcibly extracted my crew, and taken any of the folks who had been imprisoned with me. Would I have accidentally freed some dangerous criminals? Maybe. But I would have taught this society not to pick a fight with a literal sleeping giant. And to ensure my crew was with me, I would have played The Boss's message saying we're not to interfere to the entire staff. Finally, I would have given any of my crew who didn't feel like we should do this a chance to voice their opinions, have it noted and let them know they'll be transferred off the ship at their earliest and safest convenience. And now that I would no longer be a Union/Federation captain, I would have taken my ship to a society that's intelligent enough to know when enough is enough and respond.
Star Wars gets a lot of flack because The Empire is a fascist and evil organization. It's true. They're not the good guys. But they at least understood when enough was enough. Palpatine didn't have a problem grinding people under his boot heel when needed. But it's dangerous and naive of the Federation/Union to think they can always bargain from a place of absolute right/clarity. To think that everyone will be the bigger person is dangerous. To even believe that other societies will behave like them is just idiotic. They don't have to assume they're Hitler, but they can at least exercise caution. I like to treat people how I want to be treated, but you can't shit in my mouth and expect me to thank you for that. I shook your hands, and you punched me in the nose without provocation. You should know that all future dealings at that point aren't mutually friendly. They are now transactional, and as such, we can still be pleasant to one another but I will not trust you going forward. Our relationship now has me looking into what you're saying and doing for hidden meanings.
Sometimes, you really only learn with an object lesson. And that's why I can't be a Federation/Union captain. I'm not inclined to let someone walk over my people and me.
incorrigibly yours,
J. E. Flint